January 5, 2012

The Opening


It was a dark and stormy night....ooops...already been used...and what night isn’t dark? Okay, try again...

 It was a stormy night..ick...boring...

The night was stormy...still boring...more about the storm, less about the night...

A stormy night and...uninspiring...we want the reader to at least stay awake...set the tone... simplicity...edit...edit...edit...

The night stormed...hmmm...I can work with that...








A Friday Flash Fiction for the G-Man...

36 comments:

G-Man said...

Talon Dear...
Yes, you ARE over-editing. But thats why your writing is like whispers from Heaven. Perfect in every way!
This was way cool baby...
Loved your 55
Thanks for playing, thanks for making brilliance seem so effortless, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

Brian Miller said...

rage on deep into the night talon...smiles....i got a lot of scratch marks in my notebook too...smiles.

hedgewitch said...

Process, process--but it works--that's a pretty tight line you ended up with. See--that's exactly what I do, and people wonder why I'm in my little room, muttering to myself all the time. Also why I don't use paper--the forests would all be gone by now. ;_) Great 55, Talon.

Christine said...

Pen, paper and a little corner of our local diner at lunch, I keep every line I scribble out, who knows if it could be useful at a later date, write on!

Enchanted Oak said...

I relate. Editing's one of my favorite things to do, and I got paid to do it! Just realized how blessed I've been. Thanks!

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

That's the way it goes sometimes, when it even gets that far.

anthonynorth said...

Ah, the problems of over-editing. nice one.

It rained a lot that night ...

LL Cool Joe said...

Sums up UK weather at the moment.

Cool header photo btw. Have a wonderful weekend Talon.

Lynn said...

I like that. :)

the walking man said...

Oh cool, now I know what editing looks like! Thanks talon.

izzy said...

The process of writing can have its chores! That is why I love my muse sharing a scene, concept etc.!
Chop-chop, complete with comments and sounds, sometimes! thanks for the 55!

Heaven said...

Ha..ha...I like the editing and re-writing, which I also do a lot for FF 55.

Happy weekend ~

Jannie Funster said...

WOW!~

I love it. And the added graphic of your penmanship is a delight to behold.

btw, have you a water and algae problem near the windows inside your home? I dreamed last night you did. How WEIRD is that!?

xoxo

Mama Zen said...

Perfect!

hope said...

Ah, so many words...so many ways to not be able to put them in a sentence. :)

Loved this one!

Alice Audrey said...

How about "Talon didn't mind the thunder and lightning, but the way the tent flap threatened to rip loose and fly into the night kept her awake."

Louvregirl said...

Very good Talon.
:-) You 'maka' me laugh!
lg
"The night stormed..." and then? Now~you have us waiting.

Joy said...

Perfection...
Perhaps as I explore my intent of "excellence" simplicity and editing are key..thank you for this beauty filled reflection!

Margie said...

Loved it, Talon!
Great 55, so creative!
I can so relate!

Oh, love the new header too!
You have some wonderful photos!

Have a great weekend!

Margie x
P.S Daisies are my favorite flower too!

Yvonne Osborne said...

So many dark and stormy nights. Maybe we should go with the cold of a moon-lit landscape, creepy for it's stillness and moving shadows.

I've never written anything that hasn't been rewritten into the night.

"Whispers from heaven"....isn't that G-Man a smoozer!

Have a great weekend!

Raven said...

Ooo..."The night stormed..." Nice.

Evalinn said...

Lol, nicely told! :-)

Linda said...

And so goes the creative process...start and start over...repeat. Very nice 55!

sandy said...

Geez, even your scrbbles look good!

Leenie said...

:0D !!!

Stay warm and stay out of that storm.

ayala said...

All I know is that I always love your words!

Teresa said...

What a fun look into your writing process! Perfection follows.

emily wierenga said...

lol... i know... it feels some days that most things have already been said. but the night stormed... love this.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

There's always the dark and stormy knight...

Snaggle Tooth said...

The hook is the toughest part of every story- Giving the night human personality n will is a good description!
Interesting use of strike-thru font in a 55. Very original

w ver = "novel"

Doctor FTSE said...

Keep at the shortening! 'Twill soon be daybreak.

TALON said...

Shucks, G, you'll be giving me a swelled head :) Glad you liked it. It was fun playing with that (in)famous line :)

Brian, I confess I love editing. It's almost as much fun as the creative part, isn't it? It's a good thing I get paid for most of it :)

hedgewitch, lol on the paper. I only use paper for my journals where no editing is permitted. Like you, the computer is my edit buddy. My animals listening carefully to my mutterings listening hard for key words and are so often disappointed :)

Christine, I do the same with my stuff. I like to see where it started and where it ended up. Your local diner sounds like a great place to hang out :)

Enchanted Oak, me, too. I love it :)

Ann, sometimes it's all for naught. But sometimes there's little gems here and there.

Anthony, glad you got it :) And, yes, some nights it just pours :)

Joey, hope you get some clear skies and have a fabulous weekend! :)

Thanks, Lynn :)

Walking Man, lol! No one writes as tight as you without some quality editing :)

Izzy, oh, that's a wonderful thing when it all falls perfectly into place, isn't it?

Heaven, thank you! Hope your weekend is a glorious one!

Jannie, that is strange. No water or algae problems in our house. I wonder what that was about? xxx

Thanks, Mama Zen. :)

lol, hope. That about sums it up :)

TALON said...

Alice Audrey, lol - I love your suggestion :)

lg, thank you and glad you're laughing :) Hmmm...you mean I actually have to write a story now? :)

Margie, thank you so much. Editing is always like 90 % of the process isn't it? Hope you're having a beautiful weekend!

Yvonne, I loved toying with the infamous opener though yours sounds so much more intriguing. :) Hope your weekend is grand.

Raven, thanks :)

Evalinn, glad you enjoyed. Thank you :)

Thanks, Linda. :)

Sandy, I was on my best penmanship behaviour :)

Leenie, will do :)

Thank you, ayala. I feel the same about yours :)

Teresa, you're too kind. Thank you!

J Cosmo, of course you would come up with something I never even thought of. :)

Snaggle, that's funny about your word verification :) I was toying with that old and infamous opening line and if I hadn't been restricted to 55 words, I'd planned on playing with other famous openers. So true about the hook. Once that's settled, seems the rest always flows a bit easier, doesn't it? Hope you're having an awesome weekend.

Doctor FTSE, yes, time flies when you're having fun! :)

Sara said...

This is a perfect writer's poem:~)

How many times do we sit pondering those first words or reworking an overused clique.

Loved this and it definitely made me smile:~)

Frieda said...

such a lovely post... maybe that's why your writing is so wonderful :)

Viisshnu said...

Very good shot. What camera and lenses did you use for this one. Thank you. Have a great day.